You can see the ending of James Cameron’s Avatar from miles away. I calculated with my foolproof method and determined from what exact distance you can see the ending. Thus:
[Spoiler warning]
Let d=the diameter of the embolism you get when you realize that the theme reproduces that of Abyss (oh, wonderful, wonderful movie) down to the big bad militarists and the scientists willing to die for inter-species understanding;
Let f=the frequency of the shout you want to make when you see Ellen Ripley in a movie with aliens in it;
Let t=number of seconds into the film when you realize that it will reproduce the archetypes of the washed-out soldier, the traitor to the cause, the disgusted turning-away of the woman loved, and the expiatory rescue (Umberto Eco’s essay on Casablanca explains the mechanics);
Let G=Gaea; and
Let c=speed of light in a vacuum, at least 800 parsecs from the nearest mass (because absolutely nothing will linger 15 minutes after finishing the movie),
And we derive the formula thus:
(1)
(2) !
(3) !
Which upon substitution yields the result: d=848,991,560 m or 8.49 x 105 km. Therefore you can see the ending of Avatar from about 8.49 x 105 km (5.28 x 105 miles) away, corrected for blue-shift (because the ending hurls itself at your face).
But don’t worry, the graphics are pretty enough that you’d stick with the movie to the end. So enjoy it if you’ll watch it, and down with capitalism!
P.S., In keeping with the ever-emerging novus ordo saeclorum we shall call the formula novum modum imperatoris. Unfortunately, only a monk named Jorge of Burgos can see it.